PART 3 - Imparting the Solution, by Choosing!

23 August 2010

HEALTHY ALTERNATIVES
Section 1
THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY TO MAKE PEACE……..by CHOOSING.
Most of you who have walked my hobbly-wobbly road or at least parts of it with me, will know about the devastation I have had to face the past three years as I was daily having to come to terms with, the nurturing and raising of my own children, in a healthy family set-up, becoming less and less of a reality and more and more of a fantasy. For those of you who don’t know me too well, let’s just say that it is an issue that has crippled me socially, spiritually and in most other areas of living that you can think of.

This, however is not a letter of my sad old song and dance, but rather of introducing my escape to a “healthy-alternative“. I don’t know how I was suppose to make something out of a desire, which seems pretty normal, that I can’t manufacture or create or have any control over? That’s when I started thinking, that I could possibly find solace in nurturing others babies and toddlers for them. In our culture though, people are very over-protective of their children, with a result that these children often cry when picked up or given attention by strangers, so my next option was abandoned babes. It was by random chance that I mentioned this idea to a friend over coffee one day and that’s how I got introduced to Audrey, who runs a Safe Home for abandoned and abused children. Audrey seems to have a special gifting for younger children and babies, as most of the kids that she fosters/takes into safe keeping are under the age of one.

Funny…I just have to mention this, as a typical example of the paradox in life. If you desire something so badly that it aches when you are confronted with just the mere thought of it, but it’s not what God wants for you, you can stand on your head and try and whistle, sing and even Morse-code “God save the Queen” through your…uh mm, you know what….He will save the queen for you, but He won’t give you what you desire. And then after many, many, many hours of contemplation, you oblige to what I like to call “healthy alternatives” and it falls in your lap, with all the bells-and-whistles as you imagined it would be. For those of you who find this a bizarre concept, this ’God-thing’ that I believe in, I can just mention that I have seriously considered that I might have been a worm in my past life, and now paying for my consequences of eating somebodies healthy shrubs….but I am opting rather for the theory that there are higher beings out there that might be playing a weird kind of monopoly with my life down here. The point I am actually trying to make, is that understanding has not come yet, and might only come in the ‘here-after’! The kind of understanding that I’m suggesting, could possibly give me peace of mind on why I am not good enough to have my own biological child, is how someone who is on drugs, refuses to stop when they are pregnant, gets the fortunate privilege of having up to 5 children, when there are couples out there that are not able to have even ONE!!!! And then there’s me…who just won’t have them out of wed-lock because I believe in doing the right thing. Or has God and Providence got absolutely NOTHING to do with all of this, and it's ALL up to the shenanigans of us, the people? (I apologise, you got a bit of my song-and-dance….)

You might ask, what are ’healthy-alternatives’?…and what bells-and-whistles do they come with? For starters, I really needed to be close to a foster home, as I didn’t want to spend hours travelling. This opportunity that I am embarking on is so close to where I live and on route to work and back, I can literally pop in on my way everyday if I want to. Together with the convenience of being almost on my doorstep, I would not have been able to offer my help in an environment where the children are not happy and really safe, physically and emotionally. Cleanliness and proper care, love and individual attention to each child, was something I was looking for in the place where I am to offer my free time. As a volunteer, I also needed to ’connect’ with the foster-mom, in a way that I know she trusts me and doesn’t feel threatened by my efforts, because my desire to care and nurture for young children and babies is still very strong. I am fortunate that I’ve managed to detach myself from the child, having to be my own. A choice I am forced to take! I suppose time numbs the pain, doesn’t it?

The Safe Home is registered with the government, as a non-profitable organisation. I was so impressed with the cleanliness, and hands-on way in which Audrey conducts her home, to accommodate these sweeties. Some of them arrived with her, pre-maturely, mal-nutritioned and under-developed due to fetal-alcohol-syndrome, drug abuse during and after pregnancy or just pure neglect. Within weeks and sometimes even days, she manages to get them strong, healthier, and settled into their new environment. She and her helpers enforce a stable and disciplined routine, without being too rigid about the fact that they are just children that must be able to play and have fun. Some of the older ones, come from very traumatic circumstances where they have had to be responsible for younger siblings. In the Safe Home environment, Audrey gives them the liberty to just be a child again.